


Eggnog

by Darknightjess (orphan_account), jay_linden



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-18
Updated: 2009-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 07:44:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Darknightjess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_linden/pseuds/jay_linden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/vo_xmas/16373.html">2005 ViggOrli Secret Santa</a>.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Eggnog

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [2005 ViggOrli Secret Santa](http://community.livejournal.com/vo_xmas/16373.html).

Orlando stretched, feet rubbing together, legs shifting. He heard a tsking noise and buried his face in the pillow, snuffling. The passing, non-passing of time while sleep carried him, continued until he felt warm hands on his hips and with a smile, he rolled, spilling over onto his back. He sighed as the weight of sleep settled back onto him, closed lids fluttering as he felt a whisper of breath across his thigh. Mmm, sleepy blowjob - good, but he frowned when he didn't feel a warm mouth engulf him, slowly drifting back off to sleep.

Minutes, days, decades later he heard the subtle clearing of a throat and he sighed into wakefulness. "Vig?" He asked, blinking and stretching.

"Shhh... don't move. You don't want to smudge it," Viggo murmured softly, blowing gently against Orlando's cock.

"Smudge wha? Huh?" Orlando sat up on his elbows and looked down his body, eyes going wide. "What in the bloody hell have you done to my cock!?"

"I told you I was decorating for Christmas," Viggo sighed, shaking his head at Orlando as he pressed down against his shoulder blade, guiding him back down onto the bed. "Now don't get up so fast, your nipples are still drying."

"Decorating? Nipples?!" Orlando looked down then lay back, squeezing his eyes shut a moment. "My nipples have jingle bells hanging from them. There are," he sat up again and craned his neck. "Holly leaves? Yes? Around them. Good rendition of the berries though." He shook his shoulders a bit. "Sounds lovely. Now my cock is…?" He looked down, head tilted. "Oh, a candy cane. Nice, the stripes are even and everything."

"Well, you were good enough to hold nice and still," Viggo beamed. "It was tricky getting you to roll over after I did the back of you, but I managed eventually," he said, looking proud.

"Back?" Orlando leaned and looked behind him. "What is.. is that a wreath?"

"Yeah- you'd likely need a mirror to get all the detail. I even used a compass to get it to be close to a perfect circle," he nodded. "We'll just wait until we get the front of you dried, and we can take pictures for the Christmas card," Viggo grinned, giving Orlando a kiss, then heading off to look for the camera.

Orlando stood and moved to the floor length mirror. He looked at the painting on his chest and cock. Turning he moved back and forth looking at the wreath painted around his asshole, ribbons trailing down one thigh. "Good job, Viggo!" He called. "Even better than the reindeer idea last year."

"Well, we weren't going to do that again," Viggo called from out of the closet. "That reindeer was checking you out, I'm telling you. I was edging towards jealous!"

Orlando sniffed. "You know I don't do animals. Anymore." He moved around the room, stopping to turn on the cd player. I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.

Orlando's eyes went wide. "Vig! It's our song!" He hollered out, twirling around the room.

"Are you sure?" Viggo looked suspicious. "The Maclearan's dog hasn't been barking nights since you went over there that day-" he cut off, coming out of the closet and going over to Orlando. "I think of you every time I hear this on the radio," he said fondly, watching Orlando twirl and raising the camera to capture the moment.

Orlando did a slow bump and grind around the room, nipple bells jingling merrily. "And I'll have you know, Rascal and I are just friends." He began to thrust his hips, rhythmically to the song.

"There we go..." Viggo murmured, focusing the camera and taking another shot. "That one's for Dennis, I think," he nodded firmly. "Now turn around- let me get a good one of the wreath," he instructed.

Orlando bent over and waggled his hips, giving Viggo an excellent shot of his arse. "Take extras of those. Robin's birthday is coming up."

"Oh god- I almost forgot!" Viggo shook his head, making sure to get a good close-up. "I think we should get the mug this time- she really didn't seem to have much use for the t-shirt, you know?"

"She liked the mouse pad, I think, well - that is until the dog chewed it up. I'm still not sure how a wild dog got to the fourth floor, but.." Orlando shrugged and stood, raising his arms and swaying around the room again.

"Wait- hold still just a minute," Viggo stopped him, going over to the tree and removing a dangling silver ball, then carrying it over and hanging it over the tip of Orlando's cock, waiting for it to stop bobbing up and down, then smirking. "Perfect," he beamed. "That one's for the parents," he nodded, picking up his camera again and taking a few shots.

"Oh and Henry." Orlando said, arching back a bit.

"You think?" Viggo lowered the camera again, looking thoughtful. "I was thinking the wreath... you know, we could each send him one."

"Ohh, good idea." Orlando stretched upwards and shook his pelvis, bells tinkling.

"I think I've got everything I need," Viggo decided, taking one last picture and setting the camera down. "Well... almost everything I need," he murmured, slowly walking towards Orlando and gently removing the ornament from his cock.

"Is it - edible paint?" Orlando asked, swallowing hard.

"No, unfortunately," Viggo looks sad. "But the sealant I've put over it should keep it nice and vibrant until after Christmas. It's non-toxic though, don't worry."

"Let's hope it's easier to remove than the last stuff. I swear I've still got part of the Easter egg stripes on my left nut." Orlando grumped, reaching to run his fingers through Viggo's shaggy hair.

"Not any more you don't," Viggo murmured, sliding his hand down over Orlando's back and cupping his ass. "A realistic jingle bell on each one. It's always easier to shave you when you're asleep."

"Mmph." Orlando pushed against Viggo, nipple bells tinkling gently. "Ring my bells?"

"Absolutely," Viggo murmured, spinning Orlando around. "Right after I light a candle and place it right in the middle of that wreath of yours, beautiful.

Orlando spread his feet, hips arched back, groaning. "Yeah, that big ol' roman candle of yours."

"I'm not sure it'd be entirely sanitary to prep you with eggnog... I hope eggnog scented lube will do," Viggo purred into his ear as he pressed two slicked fingers inside Orlando.

"And it took weeks to get rid of that Christmas pudding rash experiment." Orlando pushed back, grunting out a harsh breath.

"I still think the cranberry sauce would have worked," Viggo muttered, twisting his finger and grinning as Orlando squirmed

"Canned stuff - uunnh - yeah - but the - god yeah - the fresh was - fuck - lumpy."

"And you bitched it was too cold too," Viggo reminded him, curling his fingers once more before he drew them away, lining up and pushing inside Orlando. "Oh god- fuck, perfect!"

"Yeah, yeah - fuck!" Orlando rocked, yowling out, head thrown back.

"God yes, baby- stroke that candy cane for me!"

Orlando reached for his cock and - jerked awake, blinking in the early morning light. "Oh fuck me backwards." He said and then shoved the covers off of him, checking his body before looking over at Viggo, who slept sprawled next to him.

Viggo muttered out a complaint, turning over onto his stomach and moving his arm over his head, settling back to sleep.

Orlando smiled and leaned to nuzzle into Viggo's shoulder. "Mmm." He felt his cock stir as he ran a hand over Viggo's hip. As he leaned over, he suddenly stopped, brow furrowed as he heard the tinkling of jingle bells. "What the fuck?"


End file.
